Irony
by BelovedShadow
Summary: StefanXDamon one-shot. PWP. Don't like don't read.


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Diaries.**

**Warnings:This is pornographic.**

**A/N: But it's sexy.**

Stefan was sleeping peacefully when it happened. A loud shrieking noise was coming from across the hallway. Stefan frowned, you would think that Damon could at least attempt to keep his innocent victims quiet while he fed. But the annoying sound was over in only a few seconds. Damon didn't waste any time or savor the taste, how unlike him.

Stefan himself was suddenly aware of a dryness in his own veins, so he decided it was time to hunt for himself. But then as he walked out of his room, the shrieking sound was heard again, and this time Stefan could tell that it was actually a kind of pleasant noise. That's when he realized, it wasn't shrieking, it was moaning. That's when he really heard it for the first time.

"OHH YES! You're a God! ohhhhhhhhhhhhh"

And then another unintelligible shriek.

He listened closer, allowing his unnatural hearing ability to kick in. He could almost hear Damon's smirk through the door.

"A God? Oh no my sweet, I'm just the opposite."

Then Stefan heard a sharp intake of breath.

"Signore? SIGNORE? WHAT ARE YOU! OH MY LORD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"Shhhhhh... lay still darling, it will hurt you less if you don't resist."

Stefan could hear the woman struggling. Then he heard Damon mumble.

"...fine. Have it your way then."

She started screaming again, but now it was in horror and pain. Their morning together had apparently taken quite the twist. Then in a few minutes, everything was silent.

"It's alright brother, you can come in. I'm decent. If you were considering playing superman, your too late. That whore is already dead."

Stefan opened the door. The scene before him looked like something out of a horror movie. The sheets on the bed were disgusting. Stained with semen and blood. The girl looked like she had once been beautiful, but now she was too pale. Drained of blood completely. Her eyes were still open in shock, Damon hadn't even had the compassion to put some clothes on her. He knew his brother was cruel but this was just sick.

"...You raped her."

"Wrong as usual, little brother. She was completely willing to have sex with me. In fact, I think the tramp would have married me if I asked."

Stefan frowned at the older man.

"You lured her here using sex, then you killed her."

"I'm a predator. She's my pray. For me it was about that the whole time, but when she offered me that tight little pussy, who was I to refuse?"

Damon got a devilish grin. Stefan would have punched him if he thought it would do any good, but it wouldn't. Damon would never change.

"By the way, little brother, that reminds me of a question I've been meaning to ask you."

Stefan couldn't tell where this was going, but he got a sense from Damon that it wasn't going anywhere good.

"Go ahead Damon. Ask away."

Damon grinned shamelessly.

"Who was the better fuck? Katherine, or Elena?"

This time Stefan _did_ punch him. _Hard_. But all Damon did was laugh as the black eye he had just acquired disappeared at inhuman speed.

"You will never learn brother, you can't hurt me."

He laughed harder. It was almost maniacal.

"Damon, you are such a piece of shit."

"Well that doesn't really answer my question does it? Then again, I could just tell you the answer myself!"

Stefan could feel himself about to lose it. He knew he shouldn't give in to Damon's taunting, the damn masochist would probably enjoy another punch anyway, and if it came to a real fight, Damon would surely win. He tried to back out of Damon's room. But the damn bastard kept taunting.

"It's a hard choice isn't it? Of course Katherine would have been a lot more fun if I had gotten some after she had gone crazy. I guess I could enjoy a night with the meek submissive type every now and then, but these 21st century girls are so damn _kinky_! I just can't keep myself off of them!"

Stefan gripped the doorway. He wouldn't listen. That was it, he just wouldn't listen. He couldn't keep his promise to Elena if he killed Damon, so he would just not listen.

"Of course, Elena was from the 20th century. She was still kinky enough though. _God_ remember that thing she used to do with her tongue. Absolutely amazing. Oh! And I remember one time-"

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Is the subject manner of my little monologue bothering you, brother?"

Stefan was so angry he was shaking. He was so sick of Damon, and he knew that the elder was only doing this because he was bored, which somehow made it seem even more cruel.

"No answer? Then I guess I'll continue... hmm. Where was I? Katherine was tighter, that's for sure. I think she was a virgin when I took her, and Elena definitely used to get around. It's a shame how they died isn't it? I mean for gods sake I thought we were supposed to _sparkle_ in the sunlight! I guess the Twilight books were wrong. There should be a sign on them: VAMPIRES BEWARE! DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!"

Damon started laughing again. Somehow even harder than before. Stefan had to admit, the Twilight books had been a bit of a humorous read. But in the end they just made him jealous. Made him wish that it was all that easy. He wondered now, what Elena would look like if she could have sparkled in the sun. It made him want to cry, and Damon could tell.

"Oh stop it will you! Get a hold of yourself! I was only messing with you."

Damon came over to look at his brother. Stefan could see the concern in his eyes, he saw something else too. In Damon's black eyes there was some sort of invisible drug drawing you in farther, making you want to follow his eyes all the way down to his soul. For the first time Stefan could really see why everyone seemed to love his brother so much. Damon was... beautiful.

He shook the thought out of his head. Damon? Beautiful? His own brother? He was sex deprived but he wasn't _that_ horny was he? He forced the unwelcome thoughts out of his mind and looked back at Damon. But it was too late. Damon had felt his rush of lust. He could tell by the amused yet startled look on Damon's face. Then Damon smiled. The bastard s_miled_.

"It's an interesting thought, little brother."

He said causally.

"Although, I wonder if it's actually a feeling you would be inclined to act on."

Stefan stiffened. Was Damon saying that if he wanted to... they could actually have sex? He felt himself get excited for a moment, but then remembered that Damon was his brother and that that would be completely morally incorrect.

"Fuck morals!"

Stefan knew that even Damon wasn't powerful enough to read his exact thought process, so the exclamation must have just been because Damon knew him well enough to know what he would be thinking.

Oh god why had he come here in the first place. Oh, right, because that noisy little tramp woke him up with all her screaming... wait, when did that poor dead girl become a noisy little tramp? Why did Stefan suddenly hate her... oh no... oh god no... was he actually... jealous? Jealous of her because she got to fuck Damon? This was too much. He had to sit down.

Damon just watched him silently as he crossed the room and sat on the sofa. Damon's face showed curiosity, and, of course, amusement. Then Stefan could feel some lust as well, other than his own.

Damon walked up closer to Stefan.

"You want this brother,"

He leaned in so that their forehead's were touching and they were making direct eye contact.

"You want me so bad, you can taste it can't you?"

Stefan was at loss for words. He could feel his brother's perfection. That perfect hand was now stroking his cheek gently. He did want it, and he realized instantly that he wanted it so bad that he didn't care about morals or anything else. So he nodded his head. Damon Smirked.

"That's what I thought."

He grabbed his brother by the hand and led the both of them to the bed. Damon didn't even seem to notice all the blood and semen and other random nastiness, and Stefan noticed all of it, but didn't care. Stefan absentmindedly shoved the dead girl off of the bed with his foot, which made his brother laugh.

"Not as compassionate as you appear, huh brother?"

Stefan ignored him, and started tugging his clothes off. He wanted to do this and he wanted to do it _now_. Not in ten minutes, not in two seconds, _NOW. _He knew that Damon could sense that too, which made him even hotter.

Damon just silently removed both of their clothing and flipped Stefan onto his stomach with his butt in the air. He shoved his dick insensitively into Stefan's virgin ass hole. He knew it would hurt Stefan, but to him that was half of the fun of this in the first place.

Stefan screamed and clawed at Damon's bed sheets but it did no good.

"Calm down, you've been through worse than this."

When Damon spoke his voice was husky. He pounded furiously into Stefan's ass. This was feeling better than he expected it to. He leaned down so that his mouth was at the back of Stefan's neck. He bit down hard and began to suck, he couldn't help it.

Stefan hadn't known before this how much more intensified sex got when blood was being exchanged. It felt amazing to let Damon take the blood, and it brought his pleasure to an even higher level as he could feel Damon enjoying the blood. And just when he thought that the blood exchange was the best part, Damon hit his prostate perfectly.

Stefan could see white spots, this was the best sexual experience he had had in over a lifetime. He was cumming so hard he thought he might not ever wake from the delicious trance, but alas it was over. And now that he was back to earth, he could tell by the warm sticky feeling in his ass, that Damon had cum as well.

Damon, who was now smirking wildly, had pulled out and started to slowly wipe the remaining semen off of his softened phallus.

"Enjoy yourself, little brother?"

"I must admit that I did."

"I guess this would have made Elena and Katherine really ecstatic, huh?"

Stefan had to laugh at that one. What a very ironic idea that was, and still, it was true.

"So, Damon?"

"If you're about to ask to do it again, then the answer's no."

"Why?"

Damon just laughed, and Stefan could tell that he was bluffing. So they would do it again some time. Good.

**A/N:So that's my DamonXStefan one-shot... I think it was okay, but i'm a lot more interested in knowing what YOU thought!...hmmmm how could i know that... OH! Right! REVIEW!**

**I'll love you anyway though, you see, i love ALL my readers ;)**

**-Beloved**


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